Pathways to Change - NLP & Tai Chi

As you go through this its very important to keep your resourceful feelings all the way through. Before beginning, think of a time when you felt particularly capable, or loved and safe or whatever is appropriate for you. Spend a while in that state and anchor it. Use the anchor as necessary through the responding to criticism process.

(1) See yourself at a distance

See yourself out in front of you somewhere. This 'you' out there is the one who is going to learn a new way to respond to criticism. You can imagine a plexiglass shield or some other transparent barrier between the you out there and the you sitting comfortably in a chair.

"See yourself out there in front of you. That you is about to learn a new way to respond to criticism."

"You can see that you as far away as you want to, or in black and white, and you can put up a plexiglass barrier in front of you if that helps you stay here as an observer."

(2) See yourself being criticised

The you in front of you sees himself or herself being criticised. So you are watching yourself watching yourself being criticised.

"That you over there is about to be criticised. Watch and listen as you immediately dissociate from the criticism."

(3) See yourself picturing the meaning of the criticism

"What yourself as you make a movie of what the criticiser is saying".

(4) Decide what you think

"Watch yourself as you compare your representation of the criticism with all the other information you have about the situation, in order to find out if they match or mismatch."

(5) Decide on a response

"Observe yourself as you carry out your chosen response."

(6) Consider changing future behaviour

"Ask the you out there 'Do you want to use the information you got from this criticism to act differently in the future?' Rehearse using the information you learned to make it easy for you to act differently next time."

(7) Repeat these six steps with different examples

"Now watch that you over there in another situation where they are about to be criticised. This time the criticism will be very general, so you will have to gather detailed information about what the criticiser means. Watch and listen carefully as that you goes through the same sequence in this situation."

(8) Incorporate the part of you that's learned this process

"You have just watched a part of yourself learn a new way of responding to criticism in a useful way. Now I'd like to thank that you for being a special resource to you in this way ... Now I want you to actually reach out with your hands and arms, embrace that person, and gently bring that person back into you, taking all the time you need, so that all those learnings will be available to you immediately and unconsciously any time you find yourself being criticised in the future."